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An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
The reason why the ancient kings ruled the world is five: valuing virtue, valuing nobility, valuing the elderly, respecting the elders, and loving the young. These five are the reason why the ancient kings ruled the world. Valuing virtue, why? Because it is close to the Tao. Valuing nobility is because it is close to the monarch. Valuing the elderly is because it is close to relatives. Respecting the elders is because it is close to brothers. Loving the young is because it is close to children. Therefore, the most filial is close to the king, and the most brotherly is close to the hegemon. The most filial is close to the king, even if it is the emperor, there must be a father; the most brotherly is close to the hegemon, even if it is a prince, there must be a brother. The teachings of the ancient kings are followed and not changed, so they can lead the world and the country. Confucius said: "To establish love from one's relatives is to teach people to be harmonious. To establish education from one's elders is to teach people to be obedient. Teach people to be kind and harmonious, and people will value being close to one's relatives; teach people to respect elders, and people will value being obedient. Filial piety to parents, obedience to orders, and this is practiced throughout the world."
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
The You Yu clan used a tile coffin, the Xia Hou clan used a Zhou, the Yin people used a coffin, and the Zhou people placed a fan on the wall. The Zhou people used the Yin people's coffin to bury the eldest deceased, the Xia Hou clan's Zhou to bury the middle and youngest deceased, and the You Yu clan's tile coffin to bury the deceased without mourning.
Women's gifts include hazelnuts, dried fruits, dates, and chestnuts.
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