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A brief account of my life

Mr. President, don't touch my left hand

Liu Ling was drunk and very thirsty, so he asked his wife for wine. The woman threw away the wine and destroyed the utensils, and wept and advised, "You drink too much. It is not the way to keep healthy. You must stop drinking!" The actor said, "Very good. I cannot control myself. I can only pray to the gods and ghosts and swear to stop. Now you can prepare the wine and meat." The woman said, "I respectfully obey your command." She offered wine and meat to the gods and asked the actor to swear. Ling knelt down and made a wish, "Liu Ling was born with wine as his name. I can drink one hu of wine at a time, and five dou of wine will sober me up. Don't listen to women's words." He then served wine and meat, and he was already drunk.

The beautiful goddess's close friend

When Grand Tutor Xi was in Jingkou, he sent his disciples to write to Prime Minister Wang, asking for a son-in-law. The Prime Minister said to Xi Xin: "You can go to the east wing and choose anyone you like." The disciple returned and told Xi Xin: "The young men in the Wang family are all commendable. When they heard that you were looking for a son-in-law, they all behaved politely. Only one young man was lying on the bed with his belly exposed, as if he didn't hear anything." Xi Gong said: "This is exactly what we want!

I have a date with the second dimension

Zhuge Ling and Prime Minister Wang were arguing about the priority of surnames and clans. Wang asked, "Why don't you say Ge or Wang, but Wang or Ge?" Ling said, "It's like saying donkey or horse, instead of saying horse or donkey. How can a donkey be better than a horse?"

My wife loves to pick up girls

Hu: The emperor uses ball jade; the princes use elephants; the officials use fish whiskers and bamboo; the scholars use bamboo, elephants are OK. When the emperor and the archer are seen, there is no mention of Hu, but when entering the temple, Hu is mentioned, which is not ancient. Hu is not mentioned for minor achievements, but it is mentioned when the emperor is exempted. After wrapping, one must wash one's face. Even if one holds a hand in the court, one does not wash one's face. When one draws before the emperor, one uses a hu. When one receives an order from the emperor, one writes it on the hu. When the hu is finished, one decorates it. The hu is two feet and six inches long, with a width of three inches in the middle. The hu is six-tenths of the width and one-third of the width.

My successor husband