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Wang Changshi said to Jiang Daoqun: "People can have what they should have, but they don't have to have it; people can have what they should not have, but I must not have it."
Zhang Zhan liked to plant pine and cypress trees in front of his study. Whenever Yuan Shansong went out for a trip, he would always ask his attendants to compose elegies. People at that time said, "The body was laid out under Zhang's house, and the funeral was held on Yuan's road."
Yang Fu’s younger brother married Wang Yongyan’s daughter. When Wang's family met their son-in-law, Fu sent his brother along. Shi Yongyan's father Dongyang Shang
Why do people change clothes? To change to the light clothes. In mourning for the deceased, after the mourning period, and when the mourning period is complete, the light clothes are covered, and the heavy clothes are separated. After the lanyard, when the mourning period is complete, wear heavy hemp and kudzu. In mourning for complete mourning, after the mourning period is complete, and when the mourning period is complete, wear hemp and kudzu. Cut the Kudzu for mourning and the Hemp for mourning
When Duke Mu's mother died, he sent someone to ask Zengzi, "What should I do?" Zengzi replied, "Shen heard from Shen's father that the sorrow of weeping, the feeling of beheading in Qi, and the food of porridge all reached the emperor. The cloth curtain is Wei; the gauze curtain is Lu." Duke Xian of Jin was about to kill his crown prince Shensheng. Prince Chong'er said to him, "Did you tell the duke about your intention?" The crown prince said, "No, you are saying that I want to kill you, is there a country without a father in the world? How can I do that?" He sent someone to say goodbye to Hu Tu, saying, "Shensheng is guilty of not thinking about Bo's words, and he is going to die. Shensheng dare not love his death. However, my king is old, his son is young, and the country is in trouble. Bo's family does not come out and plot against my king. If Bo's family comes out and plots against my king, Shensheng will accept the gift and die." He bowed twice and died. He was called "Gong Crown Prince".
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Zeng Zi asked, “The ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.” Zixia asked, “Is it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?” Confucius said, “The three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, ‘A gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.’ Is this what it means?” Zixia said, “There is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Wang Changshi said: "Liu Yin knows me better than I know myself."
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