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Confucian scholars dress moderately, move cautiously, show slowness when they are big and false when they are small, show authority when they are big and shame when they are small, and they are difficult to advance and easy to retreat, and they are like incompetent. Their appearance is like this.
Si Tu Wang Rong was both noble and wealthy. He had houses and shepherds in the area, fertile fields and water mills, which were unparalleled in Luoyang. Qi Shuyang Zhang, often discuss strategies with his wife under candlelight.
King Wen of Jin praised Ruan Sizong as extremely cautious. Whenever he spoke to him, his words were profound and far-reaching, and he never praised or criticized anyone.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Confucius was in Wei, he encountered the funeral of an old abbot. He went in and wept. When he left, he asked Zigong to persuade the charioteer and give him gifts. Zigong said, "I have never persuaded the charioteer for the funeral of my disciple. Is it too much to persuade the charioteer in the old abbot?" The Master said, "My fellow villagers went in and wept, and wept when they met a sad thing. I hate that I have no reason to cry. You should do it." When Confucius was in Wei, there were people attending the funeral, and the Master watched them and said, "How well they conduct the funeral! It is worthy of being a model. You should know it." Zigong said, "What is so good about you, Master?" He said, "When he went, he seemed to be longing, and when he returned, he seemed to be suspicious." Zigong said, "Is it better to return quickly and be anxious?" The Master said, "You know it, but I can't do it." When Yan Yuan died, he presented auspicious meat. Confucius went out to receive it, and then he played the zither and ate it.
Hu: The emperor uses ball jade; the princes use elephants; the officials use fish whiskers and bamboo; the scholars use bamboo, elephants are OK. When the emperor and the archer are seen, there is no mention of Hu, but when entering the temple, Hu is mentioned, which is not ancient. Hu is not mentioned for minor achievements, but it is mentioned when the emperor is exempted. After wrapping, one must wash one's face. Even if one holds a hand in the court, one does not wash one's face. When one draws before the emperor, one uses a hu. When one receives an order from the emperor, one writes it on the hu. When the hu is finished, one decorates it. The hu is two feet and six inches long, with a width of three inches in the middle. The hu is six-tenths of the width and one-third of the width.
Zi Zhang died, Zengzi had his mother's death; he went to cry in the mourning at the age of 18. Someone said: "You can't mourn at the age of 18." Zengzi said: "Why should I mourn?" At the death of Youruo, Duke Dao went to mourn, and Ziyou went from the left. At the death of Qi Gu Wang Ji, Duke Zhuang of Lu made great contributions. Some said, "She was married by Lu, so she should wear the mourning clothes of a sister." Some said, "She is my grandmother, so she should wear the mourning clothes."
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