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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When parents die, before offering sacrifices, brothers die; after the funeral, offering sacrifices are made. If they are in the same palace, even if they are servants or concubines, offering sacrifices are made after the funeral. During sacrifices, the host's ranks are divided, and the attendants are also divided. Even the Yu Fu are the same. From the princes to the scholars, during the minor sacrifices, the host spits when offering wine; the guests and brothers all spit at it. For the major sacrifices, the host spits, and the guests and brothers all drink it. Those who attend the sacrifices and funerals tell the guests to offer sacrifices but not to eat.
When Cai Hong went to Luoyang, the people of Luoyang asked him, "When the government was first established, the officials appointed officials to seek the talented and extraordinary in the humble and to recruit the wise and talented from the caves. You are a man of Wu and Chu, the survivors of the fallen countries. What special talents do you have to be selected?" Cai replied, "The pearls that shine in the night don't have to come from the Mengjin River; the jade that fits in the hand doesn't have to be mined from the Kunlun Mountain. Dayu was born in the Dongyi, and King Wen was born in the Xiqiang. Why should the saints and wise men stay in the same place? When King Wu defeated King Zhou and moved the stubborn people to Luoyi, could you be their descendants?"
Confucians are knowledgeable but not exhausted, and they practice diligently but not tired; they live in seclusion but not licentious, and they are connected with their superiors but not in trouble; they value harmony in etiquette, the beauty of loyalty and trustworthiness, and the law of leisure. They promote the virtuous and tolerate the masses, and criticize the square and unite the tiles. Their generosity is like this.
Zixia said: "The words are great! Beautiful! Magnificent! Is it all that is said?" Confucius said: "Why is it so? The gentleman's clothes still have five rises." Zixia said: "How is it?" Confucius said: "The music without sound, the spirit and will are not violated; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are slow; the mourning without clothes, the inner forgiveness is sad. The music without sound, the spirit and will are obtained; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are cautious; the mourning without clothes is applied to the four countries. The music without sound, the spirit and will are in accordance with; the etiquette without form, the upper and lower are in harmony; the mourning without clothes, to keep all nations. The music without sound is heard in all directions every day; the ritual without form is heard day by day; the mourning without mourning clothes is pure virtue and wisdom. The music without sound is aroused; the ritual without form is spread to the four seas; the mourning without mourning clothes is spread to Sun Tzu. "
Chen Zhonggong was the head of Taiqiu. At that time, an official falsely claimed that his mother was ill and asked for leave. The matter was discovered and he was arrested and killed by the officials. The chief clerk requested that he be sent to prison to investigate the traitors. Zhonggong said: "To deceive the king is disloyal, and to make one's mother sick is unfilial. Disloyalty and unfiliality are the greatest crimes. If we examine all the treacherous people, is there anything worse than this?"
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