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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wang Zijing was seriously ill, the Taoist priest wrote a memorial to confess his faults and asked Zijing, "What are the similarities and differences, gains and losses?" Zijing said, "I don't think of anything else, but I remember divorcing the Xi family."
When Huan Xuan was about to usurp the throne, Huan Xiu wanted to succeed him because Xuan had the permission of his mother. Madam Yu said, "You are close, and you have more years than I do. I have taken care of him, and I cannot bear to see him do such a thing."
When Jianwen was the Prince of Xiang, he and Xie Gong went to visit Huan Xuanwu. Wang Xun was inside first, and Huan said to the king: "You have wanted to see the Prince of Xiang, you can stay in the tent." After the two guests left, Huan said to the king: "What do you think?" The king said: "The Prince of Xiang is the assistant, and he is naturally as dignified as a god. You are also the hope of all the people. Otherwise, why would the Minister of Pushe die?"
A good student, the teacher is relaxed and the work is twice as good, and then he follows the mediocre; a bad student, the teacher is diligent and the work is half, and then he follows and complains. A good questioner is like attacking a hard wood, first the easy part, then the hard part, and when it takes a long time, they talk to each other to understand; a bad questioner is the opposite. A good questioner is like striking a bell, if you strike it with a small sound, it will ring softly, and if you strike it with a big sound, it will ring loudly, wait until it is calm, and then it will sound its full sound; a bad questioner is the opposite. These are all ways to advance learning.
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
Xie Kun was the prefect of Yuzhang, and he was sent down to Shitou from the general's rank. Dun said to Kun, "I can no longer do anything virtuous." Kun said, "Why? From now on, I will just die and leave!" Dun again claimed illness and did not attend court. Kun told Dun, "Recently, although your actions are intended to preserve the country, your true intentions are not understood within the four seas. If you can attend court with the emperor, the ministers will be relieved and all things will be convinced. Rely on the people's support and follow their will, and retreat to serve the emperor. In this way, your achievements will be comparable to those of Yi Kuang, and your name will be passed down for thousands of years." People at that time regarded it as a famous saying.
When the king meets the guests, and the king bestows the title, they all bow twice and kowtow, and then rise to bow, which shows the etiquette of the ministers; the king returns the bow, and all the courtesy is returned, which shows the etiquette of the king. Ministers try their best to make contributions to the country, and the monarch will reward them with titles and salaries. Therefore, ministers should try their best to make contributions, so the country is safe and the monarch is at peace. There is no ritual that is not answered, which means that the superior does not take in vain from the subordinates. The superior must clarify the right way to guide the people, and the people follow the way and make contributions, and then take one tenth of it, so the superior has enough and the subordinate is not short of it; so the superior and the subordinate are in harmony and do not resent each other. Harmony and peace are the purpose of rituals; this is the great righteousness of the superior and the subordinate. Therefore, it is said that the banquet ritual is to clarify the righteousness of the superior and the subordinate.
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