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Whenever Huan Changshi heard people talking about Lord Shen, he would say, "This man has a long-standing reputation, is well-known by our ancestors, and is also a close friend of our ancestors. It is not appropriate to talk about him."
Wang Rong's daughter married Pei Wei and borrowed tens of thousands of dollars. When the woman returns, she does not mention her military looks. The woman immediately returned the money and he was relieved.
Chen Taiqiu made an appointment with his friend to go out at noon. He did not arrive after passing the middle, so Taiqiu gave up. After he left, he arrived. Yuan Fang was seven years old at the time and was playing outside the door. The guest asked Yuan Fang, "Is your father here?" He replied, "I waited for you for a long time but you didn't come, so I left." His friend was angry and said, "What a cruel person! He made an appointment with someone and then left without saying goodbye." Yuan Fang said, "You made an appointment with my father at noon. If you don't come at noon, you are untrustworthy; if you scold your father in front of your son, you are rude." His friend was ashamed and got off the car to take him out. Yuan Fang walked in without paying any attention.
The king comforts the officials and the women in the palace; the officials comfort the elders in the house and the younger nephews. The king and the officials honor their parents, wives, and eldest sons, but not their concubines; the scholars honor their parents, wives, eldest sons, and concubines. If a concubine has a son, the parents do not honor his corpse. In all cases of honoring corpses, the parents are honored first, and the wife and children are honored later. The king honors his ministers, the parents hold their sons, the son honors his parents, the wife serves her uncles and aunts, the uncles and aunts honor their wives, the wife holds her husband, and the husband holds his wife and his brothers. Honoring corpses is not the place for the king. In all cases of honoring corpses, one must jump.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Confucians have a palace of one acre, a room with round walls, a door with bamboo, a thatched door and a window with urns; they change their clothes and go out, and eat every day. They dare not doubt the emperor's answer, and dare not flatter the emperor's answer. They are like this in their official career.
Xie Gong kept prostitutes in Dongshan. Jianwen said: "Anshi must come out. Since he shares happiness with others, he also has to share sorrow with others."
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