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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.

When the body is just dead, the host cries, the brothers cry, and the women cry and jump. After the body is straightened, the son sits in the east, the father, brother, and son of the nobles and officials stand in the east, and the officials and commoners cry in the north below the hall; the wife sits in the west, the inner women, aunts, sisters, and son stand in the west, and the outer women, led by the outer clan, cry in the north above the hall. In the funeral of an official, the host sits in the east, and the mistress sits in the west. If there are nobles and ladies, they sit, and if there are none, they all stand. In the funeral of a scholar, the father, brother, and son of the host all sit in the east, and the aunts, sisters, and son of the mistress all sit in the west. When crying for the body in the room, the host holds the quilt with both hands and cries.

Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.




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