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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Women's gifts include hazelnuts, dried fruits, dates, and chestnuts.
When Duke Huan was in Jingzhou, he wanted to influence the Jiang and Han rivers with his virtue, and was ashamed to use power and punishment to subdue people. The official was being beaten with a stick and was passing over the red-clothed man. Huan Shi was young and came from outside. He said, "I just passed by your Excellency and saw the clerk receiving a stick. The upper part touched the root of the cloud and the lower part touched the ground." His intention was not to criticize. Duke Huan said, "I am still worried about its severity."
Confucius cried for Zilu in the courtyard. There were people who came to pay their respects, and the Master bowed to them. After crying, he brought in the messenger and asked why. The messenger said: "It has been minced." Then he ordered to mince it.
Sun Zijing took off her wife's mourning clothes and composed a poem to show Wang Wuzi. Wang said: "I don't know that literature is born from emotion and emotion is born from literature. Reading this makes me sad and increases the love between husband and wife."
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious about virtue first. If you have virtue, you will have people; if you have people, you will have land; if you have land, you will have wealth; if you have wealth, you will have usefulness. Virtue is the root, and wealth is the end. The root is outside and the end is inside, and the people are robbed. Therefore, when wealth is gathered, the people will be scattered; when wealth is scattered, the people will be gathered. Therefore, words that are perversely spoken will also be perversely received; goods that are perversely received will also be perversely sent out. "Kang Gao" says: "Only the mandate is not constant." If the way is good, you will gain it; if it is not good, you will lose it. "Chu Shu" says: "Chu has no treasure, only goodness is its treasure." Uncle Fan said: "The dead have no treasure, only benevolence and relatives are their treasure."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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