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If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
The emperor’s meal was nine shells; the princes had seven, the officials had five, and the scholars had three. The scholars were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in that month; the officials were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in the fifth month; the princes were buried in the fifth month, and the mourning ended in the seventh month. The scholars had three Yu, the officials had five, and the princes had seven. The princes sent people to offer condolences, and the next one was: the one who brought the coffin and the offerings and arrived, all finished the work on the same day, and the next one was like this. When a king is ill, he asks countless questions; a scholar asks only once. When a king is with a noble official, he does not eat meat at the funeral, and does not play music at the funeral; when a scholar is with a funeral, he does not play music. When the main coffin is carried, the princes hold the ropes of 500 people, four ropes, all of whom hold their mouths shut. The Sima holds the bell, eight on the left and eight on the right, and the carpenters hold feathered banners to support the coffin. When a senior official is buried, when the main coffin is carried, there are 300 people holding the lead, four on the left and four on the right, and the coffin is covered with thatch.
The senior officials lower their concubines’ sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.
Zengzi said: "The filial son provides for the elderly by making his heart happy and not violating his will, making his ears and eyes happy, making his bed comfortable, and providing him with food and drink. The filial son who is loyal to the parents provides for the whole life. The whole life is not the whole life of the parents, but the whole life of the parents. Therefore, the parents also love what they love and respect what they respect. This is true even for dogs and horses, let alone humans!" Regarding the provision of elderly care, the Five Emperors had regulations and the Three Kings had requests for advice. The Five Emperors followed the rule of nurturing the spirit and not asking for advice. If they did something good, they would record it as a dunshi. The Three Kings also followed the rule of nurturing the elderly and then asking for advice. They also did not follow the etiquette and all had dunshi.
When Taiji Hall was first completed, Wang Zijing was the chief secretary of Lord Xie. Xie sent a plate to Wang to have him write on it. The king looked dissatisfied and said to Xin, "You can throw the chopsticks outside the door." Later, Xie saw the king and said, "What about hanging the inscription in the upper hall? In the past, people like Wei Dan in the Wei Dynasty also wrote it themselves." The king said, "That's why the Wei Dynasty did not last long." Xie thought it was a famous saying.
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