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They seek but cannot find him, they enter the door but cannot see him, they go up to the hall but cannot see him, they enter the room but cannot see him. He is gone, he is dead! He can never be seen again! Therefore, they cry and dance, and stop when they have exhausted their grief. Their hearts are sad and sorrowful, they are confused and angry, their hearts are broken and their wills are sad. They offer sacrifices to the ancestral temples and offer sacrifices to the ghosts, hoping that they will return.
Confucius said: "I ate at Shao Shi and was full, and Shao Shi fed me with courtesy. When I offered sacrifices, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food is not enough for offerings.' When I ate, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food, I dare not hurt my son.'"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Confucius said: "After bowing, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of slackness; after bowing his head, one should bow his head, which means he is in a state of height. During the three-year mourning period, I will follow the one who is in a state of height."
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
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