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Bian Wangzhi said: "There are three opposites in Xi Gong's character: he is good at doing things, but he likes to flatter others. This is the first opposite. He is honest and upright, and he makes great plans. This is the second opposite. He likes to read books and hates other people's knowledge. This is the third opposite."
Whenever Huannan County sees people unhappy, he often says, "You have mourned the pears of the family, should you not eat them again?"
Zilu left Lu and asked Yan Yuan: "What gift do you have for me?" He said: "I have heard that when you leave your country, you should cry at the tomb before leaving; when you return to your country, you should not cry, but open the tomb and enter." He asked Zilu: "What do you do for me?" Zilu said: "I have heard that you should be polite when passing by a tomb, and be submissive when passing by a sacrifice."
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
The clothes are on the body, but it is not known that they are called "wang". If there is no candle and someone comes later, tell the one who is there. The same is true for the blind. Whenever someone drinks wine and offers it to the host, hold the candle and hold it until it is burnt. The guest gets up and says goodbye, and then give it to others. Hold the candle and do not give way, do not say goodbye, and do not sing. Those who wash and wash their hands and eat and drink should not be angry. If asked, they should answer with their sleeves. Offering sacrifices to others is called "zhifu"; offering sacrifices to oneself and offering food to a gentleman is called "shan"; offering sacrifices to the gentleman is called "gao". Whenever a meal is reported to a gentleman, the host will unfold it and give it to the messenger to the south of the steps on the east side, and face south and bow twice to send it off; when the order is returned, the host will bow again and bow. The ritual: for a large sacrifice, use nine pieces of the left shoulder, arm, and leg of an ox; for a small sacrifice, use seven pieces of the left shoulder of a sheep; for a special pig, use five pieces of the left shoulder of a pig. If the country is not poor, then the chariots will not be carved, the armor will not be woven, the food utensils will not be engraved, the gentlemen will not wear silk shoes, and the horses will not be fed regularly.
Zengzi said: "The filial son provides for the elderly by making his heart happy and not violating his will, making his ears and eyes happy, making his bed comfortable, and providing him with food and drink. The filial son who is loyal to the parents provides for the whole life. The whole life is not the whole life of the parents, but the whole life of the parents. Therefore, the parents also love what they love and respect what they respect. This is true even for dogs and horses, let alone humans!" Regarding the provision of elderly care, the Five Emperors had regulations and the Three Kings had requests for advice. The Five Emperors followed the rule of nurturing the spirit and not asking for advice. If they did something good, they would record it as a dunshi. The Three Kings also followed the rule of nurturing the elderly and then asking for advice. They also did not follow the etiquette and all had dunshi.
When Wang Yi Shao was in Kuaiji, when he first arrived, Zhi Daoling was there. Sun Xinggong said to Wang, "Zhi Daolin is an innovative and unique person with a broad mind. Do you want to meet him?" Wang had his own unique spirit and looked down on Zhi Daolin. Later, Sun and Zhi were carried together to Wang Xu, the king's capital, and they did not interact with each other. After a moment they retreated, and just as the king was about to set out, his carriage was already at the door. Zhi said to the king, "You can't leave yet. I want to talk to you a little." Then he talked about Zhuangzi's "Xiaoyaoyou". Zhi wrote thousands of words, with novel talent and brilliant words. The king then opened his collar and undressed, unable to stop lingering.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
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