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Even after his parents die, if he wants to do good things and wants to bring good reputation to his parents, he will do it; if he wants to do bad things and wants to bring shame to his parents, he will not do it. When the uncle dies, the aunt will be old. The tomb-wife's sacrifices and guests must be asked to the aunt, and the intermediary woman must ask the tomb-wife. If the uncle and aunt use the tomb-wife, do not be lazy, be unfriendly and rude to the intermediary woman. If the uncle and aunt use the intermediary woman, do not dare to fight the tomb-wife, do not walk side by side, do not order her to do the same, and do not sit with her. All women should not leave unless they are ordered to go to the private room. If a woman has something to do, no matter how big or small, she must ask the uncle and aunt. The son's wife should not have private goods, private livestock, or private utensils. She should not borrow privately or give privately. If a woman gives food, clothing, cloth, pendants, or orchids to a man, he should accept them and offer them to his uncle and aunt. If the uncle and aunt accept them, they will be happy as if they had just received a gift. If they are given back, they should refuse and not be ordered. If they are given again, they should store them for future use. If a woman has a private brother who wants to give something, she must ask for the reason again and give it to him after he is given. Married sons and concubines only serve the eldest son and his wife. Even if they are rich, they dare not enter the eldest son's house with their wealth. Even if they have many carriages and servants, they should enter with a few. If the sons and younger brothers return utensils, clothing, furs, quilts, carriages and horses, they must offer the best ones before they dare to use the next best ones. If they are not offered, they dare not enter the eldest son's house with them, and dare not use their wealth to add to their father, brothers and clans. If they are rich, they should prepare two animals and offer the wisest one to the eldest son. The husband and wife should all be present and the clan should show respect. Only after the ceremony is over can they dare to offer sacrifices privately.

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

The gentleman said: Great virtue is not an official, the great way is not an instrument, the great trust is not an agreement, and the great time is not uniform. Observing these four things, you can be determined to study the root.

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