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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
When Ji Wuzi was ill, he went to see him without saying "Qi Sui". He said, "This way of life will soon be lost. Only gentlemen can say Qi Sui in public." Wuzi said, "Isn't that good? Gentlemen should show their modesty." When he was buried, Zeng Dian leaned against his door and sang.
Wang Gong was with his father in Kuaiji, and Wang Dazi also came to pay homage to his father's tomb. Gong went to the tomb to see them for a while. The two men were on good terms with each other, so he returned after more than ten days. The father asked Gong, "Why did you take so many days?" He replied, "I was talking to A Da, and he was so busy that he couldn't go home." The father then said to him, "I'm afraid A Da is not your friend." In the end, they became friends, and it turned out to be just as he said.
Shi Chong made bean porridge for his guests, and it was ready in a snap. In constant winter, you can get leeks, duckweed and amaranth. Moreover, the ox was not as big and strong as Wang Kai's ox, but he went out with Kai and set out very late, trying to get into Luo City. He followed the ox for dozens of steps and was as fast as a bird. Kai's ox could not catch up with him at all. These three things always make me feel regretful. He then secretly bribed the governor and the charioteer under Chong's tent and asked them the reason. The governor said, "Beans are difficult to cook, so just grind them into powder in advance. When guests come, make white porridge for them. Chives and duckweed are made by mashing leek roots and mixing them with wheat seedlings." He then asked the driver how the ox was moving. The driver said, "The ox is not slow at all. It's just that the driver cannot control it in time. If you let the shaft lean to the side in a hurry, the ox will move forward." Kai followed his advice and competed for the lead. When Shi Chong heard about it later, he killed all the informants.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
Confucian scholars do not treasure gold and jade, but loyalty and faithfulness; they do not pray for land, and establish righteousness as Land; do not pray for more accumulation, but be rich in culture. It is hard to get but easy to get money, easy to get money but hard to keep. If it is not the right time, is it not hard to get? If it is not right, is it not hard to keep? If you work hard first and then get money, is it not easy to get money? There are such people in his neighborhood.
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