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The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. 鈥

When He Cidao was the prime minister, some people criticized him for not trusting the right people. Ruan Sikuang said with deep emotion: "The next path would not have led to this. But it is hateful that a commoner could rise to the position of prime minister! That is all."

When serving an elder, one should not go into the hall with his shoes on, and one should not stand on the steps without taking off his shoes. Take off the shoes, kneel down and lift them up, then put them aside. The village elders wear sandals; they kneel to remove the sandals and bend down to put them on.




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