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Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: 鈥淪top! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.鈥 Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: 鈥淢ay I ask how it goes? 鈥漈he Master said, 鈥淩espect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.鈥 The Master said, 鈥淪erving others takes away kindness and benevolence.鈥 The Master said, 鈥淢aster, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.鈥 Zigong crossed the table and replied, 鈥淢ay I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?鈥 The Master said, 鈥淩itual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.鈥

When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."

The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.




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