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Gu Mengzhu once offered wine to Zhou Boren, but Boren refused to accept it. Gu Yinyi persuaded Zhu and said to Zhu, "How can you become a pillar of society just by yourself?" Zhou was delighted and they became confidants.
Great is the way of the sage! It is magnificent, and it develops all things, and reaches the highest point in the sky. Great is it! There are three hundred rites and three thousand awe-inspiring manners. Only when the right person is there can they act. Therefore, it is said: If one does not reach the highest virtue, the highest way will not be condensed there. Therefore, a gentleman respects virtue and morality and seeks knowledge. He strives for the great and the subtle. He is extremely wise and follows the doctrine of the mean. He reviews the old and learns the new, and is honest and respects the rites. Therefore, when in a high position, do not be arrogant, and when serving an inferior, do not be disloyal. If a country is ruled by the right way, his words will be enough to inspire it; if a country is ruled by the wrong way, his silence will be enough to tolerate it.
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
All the Ruan brothers were good at drinking. When Zhongrong and his clan members gathered together for a while, they no longer used ordinary cups to drink, but used large jars to hold wine, and they sat around and drank together. Sometimes a group of pigs came to drink, and they would go straight up and drink together.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Someone asked the prime minister, "How does Zhou Hou compare to He Qiao?" He replied, "A long carriage with rugged branches."
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