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A gentleman knows the difficulty and ease of learning, and knows its beauty and ugliness, and then he can make extensive metaphors; if he can make extensive metaphors, he can be a teacher; if he can be a teacher, he can be a leader; if he can be a leader, he can be a king. Therefore, a teacher is for learning to be a king. Therefore, choosing a teacher must be careful. "Records" said: "Three kings and four generations only have their teachers." Is this what it means!
When a son serves his parents: if he advises them three times but they still don’t listen, he should cry and follow them. When the king is ill and takes medicine, the minister should taste it first. When a parent is ill and takes medicine, the son should taste it first.
Yu, the staff shall not be brought into the room; bu, the staff shall not be raised in the hall. If you are the descendant of the monarch's mother, when the monarch's mother dies, you shall not wear the party clothes of the monarch's mother. The sash shall be reduced by one-fifth and the staff shall be as big as the sash. If a concubine is the eldest son of the monarch, she shall be treated the same as the daughter of the monarch. When the mourning is over, the heavier one is worn first; when the mourning is changed, the lighter one is changed. The temple gate is opened for no reason. All mourning is done in the next place. The inscription is written again, and the words are the same from the emperor to the scholar. Men are called by their names, and women write their surnames and their brothers and sisters. If the surname is unknown, they write their clan names.
In the case of parents' funeral, after the funeral, people cry, and the pillars, lintels and screens are cut, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; after a period of time, a small funeral is held, people live in a whitened room, and sleep on mats; after another period of time, a big funeral is held, people live and sleep again; in the middle of the month, people mourn, and use a bed.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
Wang Dongting's conversation with Xiaobo gradually became different. Xiao Bo said to Dong Ting: "You are unpredictable!" He replied: "Wang Ling argued in the court, Chen Ping remained silent, but I only want to know how to win in the end."
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
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