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Xu Yuan once visited Jianwen. It was a windy and calm night with a bright moon, so they composed music and talked in the room. Expressing one’s inner thoughts is Xu’s forte. The words are clear and graceful, more than usual. Although Jianwen and he had always been in sync, this encounter was even more regrettable. Unconsciously they knelt down and spoke with their hands, and the conversation lasted until almost dawn. Then he said: "Xuan Du has great talent and sentiment, so it is not easy to give him many compliments."
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
The sage kings set up sacrifices: those who apply the law to the people are sacrificed; those who die in the service of the country are sacrificed; those who work hard to stabilize the country are sacrificed; those who can resist great disasters are sacrificed; those who can defend against great disasters are sacrificed. Therefore, when Lishan ruled the world, his son was called Nong, who was able to grow hundreds of grains; when Xia declined, Zhou Qi succeeded him, so he was sacrificed as Ji. When Gonggong ruled the nine states, his son was called Hou Tu, who was able to pacify the nine states, so he was sacrificed as She. Emperor Ku was able to arrange the stars to show the people; Yao was able to reward and equalize the law and end his life with justice; Shun worked hard at many things but died in the wild. Gun was killed by floods, and Yu was able to restore Gun's achievements. Huangdi rectified the names of all things to make it clear that the people share the wealth, and Zhuanxu was able to restore it. Qi was the Minister of Education and the people were prosperous; Ming worked hard in his office and died in a flood. Tang ruled the people with leniency and eliminated their cruelty; King Wen ruled with civility, and King Wu ruled with military merits to eliminate the people's disasters. These are all those who have made great contributions to the people. The sun, moon, and stars are what the people look up to; the mountains, forests, rivers, valleys, and hills are what the people use as materials. They are not of this clan and are not included in the sacrificial rites.
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
Ruan Guanglu went to the mountain tomb and arrived at the capital. He did not go to Yin, Liu and Xu, but returned after doing his business. Everyone chased after him, but Ruan knew that the current would catch up with him, so he ran away quickly, and when he reached Fangshan, he could not catch up with them. Liu Yin was the governor of Kuaiji at that time, so he sighed and said, "I will stay at Anshi Island when I enter. I dare not go near Sikuang again, as he can grab a stick and beat me. It is not easy."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Confucian scholars dress moderately, move cautiously, show slowness when they are big and false when they are small, show authority when they are big and shame when they are small, and they are difficult to advance and easy to retreat, and they are like incompetent. Their appearance is like this.
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