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Warm Marriage: Mr. Gu, Love Gently

Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "

Mommy, I heard that Daddy wants to marry you

Ziyun: "Filial piety to serve the king, respect to serve the elders", showing that the people are not two-faced, so the gentleman does not seek official position when he has a king, but only calls the two kings on the day of divination. The mourning of a father for three years and the mourning of a ruler for three years show the people that they should not doubt. When parents are alive, one dare not take possession of their own person or property for personal use, showing the people that there is a distinction between superiors and subordinates. Therefore, the emperor has no guest etiquette within the four seas, and no one dares to be the master. Therefore, when the ruler welcomes his ministers, he ascends from the steps of the east and takes the throne in the hall, showing the people that they dare not take possession of their rooms. When parents are alive, gifts and offerings are not given as carriages and horses, showing the people that they dare not take possession of their own. With this, the people will still forget their parents and be disloyal to their ruler. Confucius said: "The first thing in etiquette is money and silk, which is to make the people first serve and then pay salaries." If money is put first and etiquette second, the people will benefit; if there is no excuse and the market is traded, the people will quarrel. Therefore, the gentleman will not look at the gifts if he cannot see them. The Book of Changes says: "Not ploughing and harvesting, not weeding and weeding, is a disaster." With this, the people will still value salaries and despise behavior. Confucius said, "A gentleman does not take all the benefits and leave them to the people." The Book of Songs says, "There are those who have left their crops, there are those who have not gathered their crops, and they are the benefits of the widow." Therefore, a gentleman does not farm when he is in office, and does not fish when he is in the field; he does not work hard to eat delicacies; a senior official does not ride on a sheep, and a scholar does not ride on a dog. The Book of Songs says, "When you pick radishes and mulberries, do not lower your body; do not violate the virtuous words, and die together with you." With this, the people in the streets still forget righteousness and fight for benefits, and lose their bodies.

Golden Jade Lady

A gentleman said: The rites that are close to human nature are not the most extreme. The blood of the suburbs, the fishy offerings of the big feast, three offerings of fire, one offering of the fire. Therefore, a gentleman, in terms of rites, does not create but express his feelings, but has a beginning. Therefore, seven escorts are required to meet each other. Otherwise, it is already sincere. Three refusal and three concessions are required to arrive. Otherwise, it is already frustrated. Therefore, when the people of Lu are going to have an event with the God of Heaven, they must first have an event with the Palace of the God of Heaven; when the people of Jin are going to have an event with the River, they must first have an event with the Pond of E; when the people of Qi are going to have an event with Mount Tai, they must first have an event with the Forest of ... If you want to observe things without following the rites, you will not be able to do so. Therefore, if you do things without following the rites, you will not be respectful. If you speak without following the rites, you will not be trusted. Therefore, it is said: "Rites are the result of things." Therefore, when the ancient kings established rites, they followed the meaning of things according to their wealth. Therefore, when doing great things, you must follow the time of heaven. For morning and evening, you must follow the sun and moon. For high places, you must follow hills. For low places, you must follow rivers and lakes. Therefore, when the weather is right and rain is right, the gentleman will be able to do it. Therefore, the ancient kings valued virtue, respected the way, and appointed the capable; they promoted the virtuous and appointed them, and gathered the people to swear an oath. Therefore, they served the heaven according to the heaven and served the earth according to the earth. They ascended to the middle of the sky according to the famous mountains and worshiped the emperor in the suburbs according to the auspicious land. When they ascended to the middle of the sky, the phoenix descended and the tortoise and dragon came; when they worshiped the emperor in the suburbs, the wind and rain were in season, and the cold and heat were in season. Therefore, the sage stood facing south, and the world was in great order.

There's a ghost ahead

Zhuge Hui's eldest daughter married the son of Grand Marshal Yu Liang, and his second daughter married the son of Xuzhou Governor Yang Chen. Liangzi was killed by Su Jun, so he married Jiang Yu instead. Hui'er married Deng You's daughter. At that time, Shangshu Xie asked for his youngest daughter's marriage. Hui then said: "Yang and Deng have been married for generations. The Jiang family takes care of me, and the Yu family takes care of me. I cannot marry Xie Pei'er again." After Hui died, they got married. So Wang Youjun

Heart Replacement Strategy

After the emperor survived for two generations, he still respected the virtuous, but respected the virtuous for no more than two generations. The princes did not serve the public. Therefore, in ancient times, the public did not succeed the public. The king's south is the meaning of answering the sun. The minister's north is to answer the king. The minister of the officials does not bow his head, which is not to respect the family ministers, but to avoid the king. The officials do not bow their heads when they have offerings, and the king does not bow when he gives gifts, which is the king's answer to himself. When the villagers were offering sacrifices, Confucius stood in the east in court clothes to keep the spirit of the room. Confucius said: "Shooting is for music, how can you listen, how can you shoot? ”Confucius said: "When a scholar is ordered to shoot, if he cannot, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness. This is the meaning of hanging the bow." Confucius said: "Three days to prepare, one day to use, still fear that it is disrespectful; two days to beat the drum, what is the point?" Confucius said: "The bow is drawn inside the storehouse gate, it is placed in the east, and it is placed in the west for market. It has been lost. ”

Only marry the prince, not the emperor