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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
The wild of the herds was an important matter for King Wu. After the matter was over, he retired, offered firewood to the God of Heaven, prayed to the community, and set up sacrifices in the herdsman's room. Then he led the princes of the world, holding the bowls and trays, and ran away; chasing the great king Danfu, King Jili, and King Wenchang; he did not use the inferior to look down on the superior. He governed his ancestors, which was to respect the superior; he governed his descendants, which was to be kind to his relatives; he governed his brothers and sisters, and fed the whole clan, arranged them according to the order of the ancestors, and distinguished them according to the rites and righteousness, and the human way was exhausted.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
The head of the Kyushu island enters the emperor's country and is called Mu. Those with the same surname as the emperor are called uncles; those with different surnames are called uncles; they are called marquises in other places; they are called lords in their own countries. Those in the East Yi, North Di, West Rong, and South Man, although they are big, are called sons. In the inner court, he called himself "Bu Gu", and in the outer court, he called himself "Wang Lao". When the common people and minor dukes entered the emperor's country, they called themselves "so-and-so", and in the outer court, they called themselves "son", and they called themselves "gu". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced north to meet the emperor, which was called "Jin". When the emperor should stand up, the dukes faced east and the dukes faced west, which was called "chao".
When Wang Jingren was thirteen years old, he wrote On the Wise. The chief secretary sent it to Zhenchang, who replied, "Seeing Jingren's essay, I can understand the subtle meaning of it."
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