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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Su Jun arrived at Shitou, all the officials fled and only the attendant Zhong Ya stayed by the emperor's side. Someone said to Zhong, "Advance when you see an opportunity and retreat when you see difficulty. This is the ancient way. Your Majesty is bright and upright, so he will not be tolerated by the enemy. Why don't you take advantage of the situation instead of waiting for the consequences?" Zhong said, "I can't help the country when it is in chaos and I can't save the king when he is in danger. If we all retreat and try to save ourselves, I'm afraid Dong Hu will take the tablet and advance!"
Pang Shiyuan of Nanjun heard that Sima Decao was in Yingchuan, so he traveled 2,000 miles to wait for him. When they arrived, they met Decao picking mulberry leaves. Shi Yuan said to him from inside the carriage, "I heard that a man should wear gold and purple when dealing with the world. How can he bend the flood and hold the silk women's affairs?" Decao said, "Get off the carriage for now. You know how to quickly go astray, and don't worry about losing your way. In the past, Bo Cheng worked in the fields with his wife, and did not envy the glory of the princes; Yuan Xian worked in the mulberry field, and was not interested in the official house. How can one sit in a luxurious house, ride a fat horse, and have dozens of maids, and then be extraordinary? This is why Xu and Fu were generous, and why Yi and Qi sighed for a long time. Even if one had stolen the title of Qin and had a wealth of thousands of horses, it would not be valuable enough!" Shi Yuan said, "I was born in a remote area, and I have rarely seen great principles. If you don't strike the loud bell or beat the thunder drum, you won't know their sound."
When serving a gentleman, the gentleman yawned and stretched himself, picked up his walking stick and shoes, and saw that the sun was setting. The attendant then asked to leave. When sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if the gentleman asks about the affairs of the day, the gentleman should stand up and answer. When one is sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if someone comes and says, "A moment," hoping to hear back, one should stand aside and wait. Do not listen sideways, do not respond loudly, do not look lustfully, and do not be lazy. When walking, do not be arrogant; when standing, do not limp; when sitting, do not spread your legs; when sleeping, do not lie prone. Keep your hair down and don't take off your hat. Don't expose your clothes when you are tired. Don't lift your skirt in the heat.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
Sun Changle's brothers went to Xie Gong's accommodation, and their words were mixed.
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