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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Yang Chen is a very loyal and steadfast person. When Zhao Wanglun was the prime minister, Chen was the chief secretary of the Grand Tutor, and was appointed to participate in the prime minister's military affairs. When the envoy finally arrived, Chen was deeply afraid of the disaster in Yu, so he had no time to get on his horse, so he rode away. The envoy chased him. Chen was a good archer and shot arrows left and right. The envoy did not dare to move forward and thus escaped.
In the ceremony of pitching a pot, the host holds the arrow, the shooter holds the target, and someone holds the pot. The host asked, "I have a pot of whistle with crooked arrows. Please use it to entertain the guests." The guest said, "You have delicious wine and delicious food. Since I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment, I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare to ask for it." The guest said, "I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment. I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare not refuse." The guest said, "I refuse to accept your order. How dare I not obey?" The guest bowed again to accept it. The host returned it and said, "Please." The host bowed on the steps of the east, and the guest returned it and said, "Please." After bowing, he received the arrows, went to the middle of the two pillars, retreated to his seat, and greeted the guests to the banquet.
The prime minister once went to Shitou in the summer to visit Yu Gong. When Yu Gong was making his prediction, the Prime Minister said, "It is better to simplify it in summer." Yu Gong said, "The world does not agree with your prediction."
When Zuche rode across the river, he was frugal, both in public and private, and had no fine clothes or toys. When the king and Yu officials went to see their ancestor, they suddenly saw overlapping fur robes and numerous precious ornaments. They were surprised and asked about it. The Master said, "There was another robbery at Nantang last night." The Master always ordered his strong men to rob money at that time, and he would tolerate the people involved without asking any questions.
Xi Sikong had a slave in his family who was knowledgeable about literature and had an interest in everything. Wang Youjun praised it to Liu Yin. Liu asked, "How is he compared to Fang Hui?" Wang said, "This is exactly what I want to do! Why compare him to Fang Hui?" Liu said, "If he is not as good as Fang Hui, he is just a slave!"
The record of the crown prince says: When he arrives at the door of the great bedroom in the morning and evening, he asks the eunuch: "How are you today?" The eunuch says: "Today is good." The crown prince will be happy. If there is something wrong, the eunuch will tell the crown prince, and the crown prince will look worried and dissatisfied. The eunuch says "return to the beginning", and then he will return to the beginning. When the food is served in the morning and evening, the crown prince must be there to check the cold and warm. After the food is served, ask what is delicious. He must know what is served, and order the chef to take care of it, and then leave. If the eunuch says "illness", the crown prince will take care of it in person. The food prepared by the chef must be looked at with respect; the medicine for illness must be tasted personally. If the food is good, the prince can eat it; if the food is poor, the prince cannot be full; until it returns to the original state, then it will return to the original state.
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