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When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
Zhi Daoling created the Treatise on Color, and when it was completed, he showed it to Wang Zhonglang. Zhonglang was speechless. Zhi asked, "Can you understand it silently?" The king said, "Since there is no Manjusri, who can see and appreciate it?"
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
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