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Shi Chong and Wang Dun always played together when they were in school. When they saw Yan and Yuan Xiang, they sighed and said, "If I could enter Confucius Hall with you, why would I have to be so different from others?" Wang said, "I don't know what others think? Zigong is quite close to you." Shi Chong said sternly, "A scholar should make his reputation and his reputation both good. Why should he talk to others through a jar window?"
Pei Chenggong wrote Chongyoulun, which was criticized by people at that time, but no one could refute it. Only Wang Yifu came, like Xiao Qu. People at that time found it difficult to justify Wang Li, but Li was reiterated.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
When parents die, before offering sacrifices, brothers die; after the funeral, offering sacrifices are made. If they are in the same palace, even if they are servants or concubines, offering sacrifices are made after the funeral. During sacrifices, the host's ranks are divided, and the attendants are also divided. Even the Yu Fu are the same. From the princes to the scholars, during the minor sacrifices, the host spits when offering wine; the guests and brothers all spit at it. For the major sacrifices, the host spits, and the guests and brothers all drink it. Those who attend the sacrifices and funerals tell the guests to offer sacrifices but not to eat.
The Master said: "If the ministers are not close to the people, the people are not at peace, then loyalty and respect are insufficient, and wealth and honor are excessive; if the ministers are not governed, the close ministers will be in competition. Therefore, the ministers must be respected, which is the model of the people; the close ministers must be cautious, which is the way of the people. The king should not make small plans for big things, do not talk about the near with the far, and do not make plans for the outside with the inside, then the ministers will not complain, the close ministers will not be angry, and the distant ministers will not be blinded. The Duke of She said in his last words: "Do not ruin big things with small plans, do not anger Queen Zhuang with favorite concubines, and do not anger Zhuangshi, the officials, and the ministers with favorite concubines. '"
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