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Do not talk about music in mourning, do not talk about bad things during sacrifices, and do not talk about women in public courts.
Fu Gu is good at talking about empty victories, while Xun Can鈥檚 conversation is profound and far-reaching. Whenever they talked together, there were arguments and they could not understand each other. Pei Jizhou explained the meaning of the two families, understood the thoughts of both sides, and always made both sides feel satisfied and happy.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Confucius said, "When the princes marry the emperor, they must announce it to the ancestors and offer sacrifices to the gods. They wear the crown and go out to attend the court, and order the priest to announce it to the gods, the ancestral temples, the mountains and rivers. Then they order the five officials of the state to go out and leave on the road. The announcement should be made every five days. If it is more than that, it is not polite. Whenever an announcement is made, sacrificial offerings should be used. The return is the same. When the princes meet, they must announce it to the gods, and wear court clothes and go out to attend the court. Order the priests to report to the mountains and rivers passing by the five temples. Also order the five officials of the state to go out on the road. On the way back, they must personally report to the ancestors. Then order the priests to report to what has been reported before, and then listen to the court and enter.
There was a Taoist from the north who was good at reasoning. He met Mr. Lin at the Wuguang Temple and they talked about sketches. At that time, Zhu Fashen and Sun Xinggong all listened together. This Taoist raised many difficult questions, and Mr. Lin answered them clearly and analytically, with a refreshing tone. This Taoist always crushes the weak. Sun asked Mr. Shen: "Master, you must be in a difficult situation, why have you never said anything?" Mr. Shen smiled but did not answer. Mr. Lin said, "The white sandalwood is fragrant, so how can it go against the wind?" Mr. Shen understood the meaning and was disdainful.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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