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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The Buddhist scriptures believe that by cultivating the spirit, one can become a sage. Jian Wen said: "I don't know if I can reach the pinnacle of achievement. However, the merits of training cannot be denied."
Yin Zhongjun said to Han Taichang: "Kang Bo has always been a proud figure since he was young, but he is actually a leader among his peers. When he speaks, his words are often full of emotion."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Han Kangbo was a few years old, his family was extremely poor. During the severe cold weather, he could only afford a jacket. The mother, Lady Yin, made it herself and asked Kang Bo to hold the iron. She said to Kang Bo, "Put on the quilt and make the scarf again soon." The child said, "It is enough. There is no need to make the scarf again." The mother asked why. He replied, "There is fire in the iron and the handle is hot. Now that I'm wearing chopsticks and clothes, the bottom should also be warm, so there is no need for ears." His mother was very surprised and knew that it was a national instrument.
Lord Xie asked Wang Zijing, "How is your calligraphy compared to that of your father?" He replied, "Of course they are different." Lord Xie said, "Outsiders may say otherwise." The king said, "How can outsiders know?"
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