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General, have a cigarette.

Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.

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The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

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The small burial is inside the house, and the big burial is in the east. The king uses bamboo mats, the senior officials use cattail mats, and the scholars use reed mats. Small burial: cloth twisted, one shrunken and three horizontal. The king has a brocade quilt, the senior officials have a white quilt, and the scholars have a black quilt, all one. The clothes are nineteen pieces, the king displays the clothes in the east of the order; the senior officials and scholars display the clothes in the room; all have the west collar and the north. Twisted and spun silk are not in the list. Big burial: cloth twisted, three shrunken and five horizontal, cloth and spun silk quilts. The king, the senior officials and scholars have one. The king displays his clothes in the courtyard, with a hundred pieces, and the north collar goes up to the west; the senior officials display their clothes in the east of the order, with fifty pieces, and the west collar goes up to the south; the scholars display their clothes in the east of the order, with thirty pieces, and the west collar goes up to the south. The twisted silk is like the court dress, twisted into three pieces, without opening, and silk is five pieces, without tucks. The clothes for the small burial are not turned upside down. The king has no tucks, and the senior officials and scholars finish the sacrificial clothes of the host; the clothes of relatives are not displayed immediately after receiving them. For the small burial, the king, the senior officials and scholars all use double clothes and double quilts; for the large burial, the king, the senior officials and scholars have no number of sacrificial clothes. The king has pleated clothes and pleated quilts, and the senior officials and scholars are the same as the small burial. The robe must have a cover, not a fold, and the clothes must have a skirt, which is called a one-piece. All clothes are filled in the box, and those who take the clothes also go up with the box, and those who go down from the west steps. All clothes are displayed without bending, and they are not allowed to be put in unless they are arranged in a row, and silk and linen are not allowed to be put in.

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Sun Anguo went to Yinzhongjun Xu to discuss, and came back with great effort, so that both the host and the guest had no time to spare. Eat left and right, and the temperature will rise again four times. We threw our whisks away and they all fell off, filling the rice. When the host and the guests arrive, don't forget to eat. Yin said to Sun: "Don't be a stubborn horse, I will pierce your nose." Sun said: "You have never seen a bull with a broken nose, I will pierce your cheek."

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The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.

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