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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
When Wang Lantian was appointed as an official in Yangzhou, the chief clerk asked for a taboo, and was instructed: "Our late ancestor was famous throughout the country and was known far and wide. If the taboo is not known to the public, there is nothing to be tabooed about."
When Xie Gong heard that Yang Sui was good, he sent his regards and asked him to come, but he refused to go. Later, Sui became a doctor of the Imperial College. He met Xie Gong on business, and Xie Gong immediately appointed him as the chief clerk.
When Gu Changkang painted people, he might not be able to paint their eyes well for several years. People asked why? Gu said: "The beauty of the body is irrelevant; the essence of the portrayal lies in the details."
When Wei Jie was a child, he asked Le Ling about his "dream", and Le Ling replied, "It's just thinking." Wei said, "If you dream about something that is not connected between your body and your spirit, how can it be imagination?" Le said, "It is cause. I have never dreamed of riding a car into a rat hole, or pounding vegetables with an iron pestle. This is because there is no imagination and no cause." Wei thought about the "cause" for several days but could not find one, and thus he fell ill. I was pleased to hear it, so I ordered my driver to analyze it. Wei is slightly worse. Le sighed and said, "This child must not have any serious illness in his chest!"
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
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