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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
When the king marries his eldest son, he should have three carriages; when the duke marries his concubine, he should have one carriage; when the official marries his eldest son, he should have one carriage.
Zhi Daolin, Xu Yuan and others were all at Wangzhai in Kuaiji. Zhi is the master and Xu is the lecturer. The meaning of this passage is the same, and everyone in the audience is disgusted. When Xu sent a difficult question, everyone danced with joy. But we all admire the beauty of the two schools of thought without arguing about their logic.
The husband of the mother and the wife of the uncle, the two wives mourn for each other, but the gentleman did not mention it. Some say that they cook together.
When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
Zi Zhang died, Zengzi had his mother's death; he went to cry in the mourning at the age of 18. Someone said: "You can't mourn at the age of 18." Zengzi said: "Why should I mourn?" At the death of Youruo, Duke Dao went to mourn, and Ziyou went from the left. At the death of Qi Gu Wang Ji, Duke Zhuang of Lu made great contributions. Some said, "She was married by Lu, so she should wear the mourning clothes of a sister." Some said, "She is my grandmother, so she should wear the mourning clothes."
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