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In the case of parents' funeral, after the funeral, people cry, and the pillars, lintels and screens are cut, and do not wear sackcloth or bees; after a period of time, a small funeral is held, people live in a whitened room, and sleep on mats; after another period of time, a big funeral is held, people live and sleep again; in the middle of the month, people mourn, and use a bed.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Hemp is not a robe, and holding jade is not hemp. Hemp is not added to the collection. When the country prohibits crying, it only stops the morning and evening offerings. It is self-made when ascending the throne. When a boy cries, he does not lie down, jump, stick, use a penny, or stay. Confucius said: "Aunts and uncles, when they are in poor condition, do not jump to the ground. When the great achievement of aunts and sisters, jump to the ground. If you know this, you are well-educated! Well-educated! ”
When the king's messenger arrives, the host should come out and bow to show his disgrace to the king's words; when the messenger returns, he must bow and see him off at the door. If you send someone to the king's place, you must dress in court and give orders; if the envoy returns, you must go downstairs and receive orders.
Han Kangbo and Xie Xuan did not have a deep relationship. After Xuan's expedition to the north, people on the street suspected that he would not be able to recover. Kang Bo said, "This man loves fame, so he must be good at fighting." Xuan was very angry when he heard this, and often said in front of the crowd with a stern face, "A man who leads a thousand soldiers into a deadly situation to serve his lord and parents should not talk about fame anymore."
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
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