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》 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
When Ji Sun's mother died, Duke Ai went to offer condolences. Zengzi and Zigong went to offer condolences. The gatekeeper did not let them in because the king was present. Zengzi and Zigong went into the stable and dressed up. Zigong went in first, and the gatekeeper said, "The governor has already told us." Zengzi went in later, and the gatekeeper let him in. When they went inside, the nobles and officials all left their seats, and the Duke lowered his rank and bowed to them. The gentleman said, "If you use all your skills, you will go far." When Jiefu of Yangmen died, the city manager Zihan went in and cried. The Jin people who spied on Song reported back to the Duke of Jin, saying, "Jiefu of Yangmen died, and Zihan wept bitterly, and the people were pleased. It is unlikely that he should be attacked." Confucius heard about it and said, "How good is the spying on the country! The Book of Songs says, 'When the people are in mourning, they should be supported and clothed.' Although it is only a small country like Jin, who in the world can do it?"
Jia Chong's wife, Li, wrote a set of instructions for girls, which were circulated in the world. The daughter of Li, the wife of King Xian of Qi, and the daughter of Guo, the empress of Emperor Hui. After Chong died, Li and Guo's daughters each wanted to be buried together with their mother, but they could not decide for years. After Empress Jia was deposed, Lady Li was enshrined in the royal family and the burial was decided.
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
Men and women do not sit together, use the same shackles and towels, or combs, and are not taught in person. The sisters-in-law and uncles do not ask about each other, and the mothers do not wash their clothes. External words do not enter the bundle, and internal words do not leave the bundle.
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
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