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A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
Wang Ling went to see Xie Gong, and found Xi Zaochi was already sitting there, so he was supposed to lie on the same couch with him. The king wandered around without sitting down, so the duke invited him to sit on the couch opposite him. After he left, he said to Hu'er, "Zi Jing is indeed upright and honest, but people are too proud of you, which really damages his naturalness."
When Huan was conquering the west, he governed the beautiful Jiangling City. He met his guests and colleagues who went out to Jiangjin to look at it. Huan said, "Anyone who can see this city will be rewarded." Gu Changkang was a guest at the time and was also present. He looked at it and said, "From a distance, I can see the layered city walls, and the red towers are like clouds." Huan immediately rewarded him with two maids.
Xun Xu was good at understanding sounds, and people at that time called him a secret understander. Then he adjusted the musical scale and corrected the elegant music. During every formal meeting, music was played in the palace, with the tunes of the gong and shang being adjusted to the rhythm of the music. Ruan Xian appreciated it very much and praised it as a divine understanding. Every time there is music in a public gathering, the mind is not in tune. Since he did not say a word of encouragement, he was jealous of him and thus sent Ruan away to be the prefect of Shiping. Later, there was a farmer who was tilling the field and found a jade ruler from the Zhou Dynasty. This became the standard ruler for the whole world. Xun tried to compare the bells, drums, metal, stone, silk and bamboo instruments he had made, and found that they were all one grain short, so he subdued Ruan's spirit.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
Zheng Xuan wanted to annotate the Spring and Autumn Annals, but had not yet finished it. On his way, he and Fu Zishen met each other and stayed in a guest house. They had not met before. Fu was in the carriage outside and told him about his annotations. Xuan listened for a long time and found most of the ideas he had. Xuan got on the carriage and said to Fu, "I have wanted to annotate it for a long time, but I haven't finished it yet. From what you said just now, I found that most of your comments are in line with mine. Now I will tell you all my comments." Then he annotated it for Fu.
The second is to worship the Tao, the second is to worship the Buddha, all with money bribes.
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