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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
The "Book of Rites" says: "Be respectful in every way, be solemn as if thinking, and speak calmly." It brings peace to the people!
The meaning of the crown: The crown is made of black cloth. In ancient times, the cloth was black, and the Qi people wore it. As for its tassel, Confucius said: "I have never heard of it. It is better to wear it in a worn-out state." The son wears the crown on the east side to show his generation. The offering in the guest position is to add to the success. The three additions are more respected, which means his aspirations. The crown and the name are to respect the name. The appearance of the crown is the way of Zhou. The Zhangfu is the way of Yin. No pursuit is the way of the Xiahou clan. Zhou Bian, Yin Bian, Xia Shou. The three kings shared the leather cap and white pile. There is no ceremony for the crown of the senior officials, but there is a ceremony for their wedding. In ancient times, people were promoted to the rank of nobility after the age of fifty, so why did the crown ceremony of the senior officials exist? The crown ceremony of the princes was not invented until the end of the Xia Dynasty. The first son of the emperor is a scholar. There is no one in the world who is noble at birth. To establish the princes in succession is to show the virtue. To give people official titles is to kill virtue. To give posthumous titles after death is the present; in ancient times, there was no title when alive and no posthumous title when dead. What is respected in ritual is to respect its meaning. If it loses its meaning, it is the job of the historian to explain its number. Therefore, the number can be explained, but its meaning is difficult to know. Knowing its meaning and respecting it is the way for the emperor to rule the world.
Zhang Cangwu was the ancestor of Zhang Ping. He once said to Ping’s father, “I am not as good as you.” Ping’s father did not understand why. Cangwu said, "You have a beautiful son." Ping was a few years old at that time. He put his hands together and said, "Old man, how can you tease your father with your son?"
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
The host does not personally accept it. When receiving, he stands up, and when giving, he does not sit down. There are those who are upright in nature. When entering and saying goodbye, he says: "I say goodbye". When sitting, he says: "It's OK". There is only one person who puts up his shoes and puts on his shoes in the house. If there is an elder present, it is not OK. When asking about taste, he says: "Do you eat so and so?" When asking about the art of Taoism, he says: "Are you accustomed to so and so?" "Are you good at so and so?" Do not doubt yourself, do not measure the tools of the people, do not be reluctant to the big family, and do not criticize the heavy tools. Sweeping is called sweeping, and sweeping in front of the mat is called fighting; the mat is not to be beaten with a mane. Hold the dustpan and hold the hair. Do not ask twice. When asking about divination, he says: "Is it righteousness? Is it will?" If it is righteous, you can ask, but if it is will, you can't.
In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"
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