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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Wang Zhongxuan likes the bray of a donkey. After the burial, Emperor Wen came to the funeral and said to his companions, "The king likes the bray of a donkey. You can each make one to send him off." All the guests made the same bray.
Aigong said, "May I ask about Confucian conduct." Confucius replied, "I can't finish counting them all. If I count them all, I will stay. I can't finish them even if I change my servant."
When Ruan Ji's mother died, he enjoyed wine and meat in the presence of King Wen of Jin. Si Li He Zeng was also present and said, "Your Excellency is ruling the world with filial piety, but Ruan Ji is in a state of mourning and is seen drinking and eating meat in front of you. You should exile him overseas to correct the morals." King Wen said, "The successor to the throne is so disgraced, and you cannot share my sorrow. What's the point? Besides, drinking and eating meat when one is ill is a mourning custom!" Ji continued to drink and eat, looking calm.
Emperor Wu of Jin always gave tribute to Shan Tao and Shan Shao. Xie Taifu asked his sons and daughters about this, and the cavalry replied, "It should be because those who want it are not many, and those who give it will forget about it."
Zheng Xuan was a student of Ma Rong for three years, but they were not able to meet each other. He was just a senior disciple and was taught by him. I tried to calculate the celestial body and found that it was not in harmony, and none of my disciples could explain it. Some say that the mysterious person can summon and calculate, and can make a decision in one turn.
In ancient times, teachers had private schools at home, schools in the community, and schools in the country. Students entered school at the same age and were examined in the middle of the year. In the first year, they were evaluated for their ability to distinguish between classics and aspirations; in the third year, they were evaluated for their dedication to work and their enjoyment of society; in the fifth year, they were evaluated for their extensive learning and their closeness to their teachers; in the seventh year, they were evaluated for their learning and their friendships. This was called small success; in the ninth year, they were evaluated for their ability to understand the categories and to be able to establish themselves firmly without turning back. This was called great success. Only then could they transform the people and change their customs, convince those who were close to them, and make those who were far away cherish their memory. This was the way of the university. The Records says, "The moths were taught from time to time." Is this what it means?
The first ten years of a person's life are spent as a child, learning. At twenty, one is weak and then crowned. At thirty, a man is considered strong and has a wife. At forty one is strong and can serve in an official capacity. At fifty, he is called Ai, and he serves as an official. Sixty is called Ji, which means to give instructions. Seventy is considered old, and time for passing on. Eighty or ninety years old is called mao, and seven years old is called dao. Even if the people of dao and mao are guilty, they shall not be punished. A hundred years is called Yi.
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