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Xun Xu once ate bamboo shoots and served rice on the seat of Emperor Wu of Jin, and said to the people sitting there, "This is the result of hard work in cooking with firewood." The people sitting there did not believe him, so they sent someone to inquire about it secretly, and found out that it was actually done with the carriage legs.
Du Hongzhi's tomb collapsed, and his expression was so sad that it was beyond description. Yu Gong turned to his guests and said, "Hongzhi is very weak, so we should not mourn for him." He also said, "Hongzhi's crying should not be mourned."
Prime Minister Wang was in Yangzhou and sent eight ministries to serve in the department. Gu Heshi was the one who passed it down and they all saw it at the same time. All the officials reported their gains and losses, but Zhihe alone remained silent. The king asked Gu, "What have you heard?" Gu replied, "As an advisor, you would rather let the net leak and swallow the boat. Why do you listen to rumors and think that you are governing a country well?" The prime minister praised him, and the other officials felt that they were lacking.
Wang Yifu once was assigned to work by a clan member, but he hadn't done anything for some time. When they were having a feast, Wang Yifu said to the clan member, "You are assigned to work for an elder recently, so how can you not do it?" The clan member got very angry and threw a stick in his face. Yi Fu was speechless. After washing up, he took Prime Minister Wang's arm and was carried away together. He looked in the mirror in the carriage and said to the Prime Minister: "The way you look at me is like looking at an ox's back."
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
He Qiao was favored by Emperor Wu, and he said to Qiao: "The Crown Prince seems to have made progress recently. You can go and see him." He also asked, "How is he?" The answer was: "The Crown Prince is as holy as before."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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