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The "Book of Rites" says: "Be respectful in every way, be solemn as if thinking, and speak calmly." It brings peace to the people!
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
Xu Xuandu stayed in the capital for a month, and Liu Yin went to see him every day. He sighed and said, "If you don't go again for a while, I will become a frivolous Yin!"
During the reign of Emperor Yuan, the Chief Justice Zhang Kai lived in Xiaoshi and built a private gate that closed in the morning and opened in the evening. The small people were worried about this and went to the county government to file a complaint, but their case was not heard. They then went to the county court to file a complaint, but still no verdict was made. When he heard that Sikong He had left, he went to Pogang and went to He to file a complaint. He said, "I have been conscripted as a ritual official and this matter has nothing to do with me." The young men kowtowed and said, "If the governor is not treated well again, we will have nowhere to complain." He said nothing and ordered them to leave and to report to Zhang Tingwei when they saw him. When Zhang heard this, he immediately demolished the gate and went to Fangshan to greet him. He came out to see him and said, "There is no need to see Guan, but I have a relationship with you, so I cherish it." Zhang thanked him ashamedly and said, "I didn't know that I was like this at the beginning, and I was ruined long ago."
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
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