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After Xie Zhonglang was defeated in Shouchun, he still asked for the jade stirrup before fleeing. When the Grand Tutor was in the army, he did not say anything about gain or loss. I still said, "Why should we bother with this now?"
When Wang Rong was the Shizhong, the Nanjun prefect Liu Zhao left him five pieces of paper and cloth in a tube. Although Rong refused to accept them, he gave him a generous letter in return.
Wei Wu had a prostitute whose voice was the most noble, but whose temperament was extremely evil. If you want to kill someone, you love his talent; if you want to place him, you cannot bear it. So he selected a hundred people and taught them all at the same time. After a while, there was another voice heard, and the evil person was killed.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
In all the etiquette of servants, they must give the servants the reins. If the servant is of a lower rank, then accept it; otherwise, then refuse. If the servant is of a lower rank, then stroke the servant's hand; otherwise, then hold him down. The carriage of guests does not enter the main gate. Women do not stand up to ride. Dogs and horses do not enter the hall. Therefore, gentlemen should wear yellow hair, lower than the rank of ministers, do not gallop when entering the country, and must bow when entering the village.
When parents die, before offering sacrifices, brothers die; after the funeral, offering sacrifices are made. If they are in the same palace, even if they are servants or concubines, offering sacrifices are made after the funeral. During sacrifices, the host's ranks are divided, and the attendants are also divided. Even the Yu Fu are the same. From the princes to the scholars, during the minor sacrifices, the host spits when offering wine; the guests and brothers all spit at it. For the major sacrifices, the host spits, and the guests and brothers all drink it. Those who attend the sacrifices and funerals tell the guests to offer sacrifices but not to eat.
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