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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
When Ruan Ji was about to bury his mother, he steamed a fat pig, drank two buckets of wine, and then when he said goodbye, he bluntly said, "I am poor!" They all had to take number one, and because of vomiting blood, they were disabled for a long time.
Wang Xu often slandered Yin Jingzhou to Wang Guobao, and Yin was very worried about it and sought advice from Wang Dongting. He said, "You just need to visit Wang Xu several times, and when you go there, send everyone away and discuss other matters. In this way, the friendship between the two kings will be broken." Yin followed his advice. When Guo Bao saw Wang Xu, he asked, "What did you talk about with Zhongkan in private?" Xu said, "We always keep in touch with each other and have nothing else to discuss." Guo Bao believed that Xu was hiding something from him, and indeed their friendship became less and less, and the slander stopped.
When parents are ill, those who wear hats do not comb their hair, walk do not gallop, talk do not lazily, do not play the zither and the qin, eat meat without changing its taste, drink wine without changing its appearance, laugh do not laugh too loudly, and be angry without swearing. The disease stops and returns to normal.
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