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He Piaoqi was the governor of Kuaiji, and Yu Cun's younger brother Jian was the county chief clerk. As He was exhausted from seeing guests, he wanted to report to the regular guests and asked his family members to restrain themselves and select those who were acceptable to him, and then report to Yu Cun. Cun Shi was Shangzuo He, who was having dinner with Jian. He said, "The funeral is very good. Wait until I finish eating and then tell me." After the meal, he took a pen and wrote the funeral, saying, "If I can find a family leader like Guo Linzong, I will do as you say. Where did you find this person?" Jian stopped there.
Wang Dayu said to Dongting: "You are talking about whether Cheng is bad or not, how can you play with Sengmi?"
The way to display the utensils is to display more and then accept them sparingly; to display sparingly and accept them all is fine. When rushing to the funeral of a brother, first go to the tomb and then the family, and cry for the position. For the funeral of someone you know, cry in the palace and then the tomb. A father shall not be the son of many sons and the outsiders shall be the next. Brothers with princes shall be beheaded. For minor mourning, the belt, hemp and linen shall not be cut off, and the woman shall return to repay the loss.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
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