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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When mourning clothes are worn, the crying is like going out but not turning back; the crying of mourning clothes is like going out and turning back; the crying of mourning clothes for the great merit is three bends and then folded; the mourning clothes for the small merit and the mourning clothes are acceptable. This is the expression of sorrow in the voice.
Someone went to see General Wang, and met Anfeng, the general, and the prime minister sitting there; he went to another room to see Ji Yin and Pingzi. When he returned, he said to others, "Today's trip has seen a dazzling array of pearls and jades."
Wang Changshi was ill and his relatives and friends had difficulty communicating. When Lord Lin arrived, the gatekeeper immediately opened the door and said, "There is a stranger at the door. I dare not refuse to open the door." The king laughed and said, "This must be Lord Lin."
When Shi Liu’s mother died, the minister was on the left. When Shi Liu died, his followers were on the right. The minister was on the right because Shi Liu’s followers did it.
Shooting is the way of benevolence. When shooting, you should seek to correct yourself. After you have corrected yourself, you can shoot. If you shoot and miss, you should not blame the one who beat you, but look for the reason in yourself. Confucius said: "A gentleman has nothing to contend with, so he must shoot! He bows and yields before ascending, and drinks after bowing. His contest is that of a gentleman."
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
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