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When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
King Jiong of Qi was the Grand Marshal assisting in the administration, and Ji Shao was the Palace Attendant, who went to Jiong to consult on matters. Jiong set up a meeting of ministers and summoned Ge Yi, Dong Ai and others to discuss current affairs. Yi and others said to Jiong: "Minister Ji is good at playing stringed instruments. You can ask him to play it." So they sent the musical instruments. Shao Tui refused. Jiong said, "We are all happy today, why are you resisting?" Shao said, "You have assisted the royal family and made them do things in an exemplary manner. Although Shao is a low-ranking official, his duties are equivalent to those of an ordinary official. Playing silk and bamboo is the job of a musician. It cannot be dressed according to the rules of the previous kings, which is the occupation of the people of Wu. Now that I am forced to accept the emperor's order, I dare not refuse. I should put down my crown and wear private clothes. This is what Shao wants." Yu and others were dissatisfied and left.
Hua Xin and Wang Lang both took refuge on a boat. There was a man who wanted to seek refuge, but Xin refused. Lang said, "Fortunately, there is still time, so why not?" Later, the enemy caught up with him, and the king wanted to abandon the people he was carrying. Xin said, "This is exactly why I was suspicious in the first place. Now that he has entrusted himself to me, why should I abandon him so quickly?" So he took Zheng with him as before. The world uses this to determine the superiority and inferiority of Hua and Wang.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
Tanqi originated in the Wei Palace, where people used dressing boxes as a game. Emperor Wen was very good at this play. He used the corner of his hand towel to flick it and every time he did it he hit the target. There was a guest who claimed that he was capable, so the emperor asked him to do it. The guest picked up the chopsticks and held the corner of a hemp scarf, and lowered his head to play the chess pieces, his skill was even greater than that of the emperor.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
When Jianwen was the Prince of Xiang, he and Xie Gong went to visit Huan Xuanwu. Wang Xun was inside first, and Huan said to the king: "You have wanted to see the Prince of Xiang, you can stay in the tent." After the two guests left, Huan said to the king: "What do you think?" The king said: "The Prince of Xiang is the assistant, and he is naturally as dignified as a god. You are also the hope of all the people. Otherwise, why would the Minister of Pushe die?"
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