女同胡搞

The Best Son-in-Law

Someone asked, "Why do people bury their parents after three days of death?" The answer is: filial sons are sad and resentful when their parents die, so they crawl on the ground and cry, as if they will be resurrected, how can they be taken away and buried. Therefore, it is said that the funeral is held after three days, in order to wait for the body to be reborn. If the body is not reborn after three days, it is also dead. The filial son's heart will also be weakened; the family plan and clothing can also be completed; the distant relatives can also come. Therefore, the sages made a decision to set a three-day ritual system.

Whose bun is it?

Wu invaded Chen, beheaded Si and killed Li, and the army returned. Chen Dazai Pi was sent to the army. Fuchai said to the traveler Yi: "This man is a talkative man. Why don't you ask him? The army must have a name. What do people call this army?" The great prime minister said: "In the past, those who invaded did not cut off the sacrifices, did not kill Li, and did not capture two hairs. Now this army, did they kill Li? Shouldn't they call it the army that killed Li?" He said: "Return your land and return your son, what should we call it?" He said: "The king punished the crime of my city and pardoned it with pity. Does the army have a name?"

Deep love beyond expectations

　　When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.

Uniform Japanese Entertainment

Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."

True and False

This month is the month of opening customs and markets, bringing in merchants and travelers, and accepting bribes, which facilitates civil affairs. People from all directions gather, and people from distant places all arrive, so there is no shortage of money, the emperor has no shortage of resources, and all things are accomplished. When doing major things, do not go against the big numbers, but must follow the time and be careful of the types. If the spring order is carried out in mid-autumn, the autumn rain will not fall, and the grass and trees will flourish, and the country will be afraid. If the summer order is carried out, the country will suffer from drought, hibernating insects will not hide, and grains will grow again. If the winter order is carried out, there will be frequent wind disasters, and the thunder will come first, and the grass and trees will die early.

Immortal