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The Master said: "The world and the country can be equal, the title and salary can be refused, and the sword can be stepped on, but the middle way is impossible."
People with the same surname follow the clan and are of the same clan; people with different surnames follow the name and govern the society. Names are written, but men and women are different. If the husband belongs to the father's way, his wife is the mother's way; if the husband belongs to the son's way, his wife is the wife's way. If the brother's wife is called "wife", can the sister-in-law also be called "mother"? Name is the most important thing in human governance, so can we not be careful? After four generations, the mourning period is exhausted; after five generations, the same surname is killed. After six generations, the relatives are exhausted. The common surnames are distinguished at the top, and the relatives are at the bottom. Can marriages be allowed? They are tied by surnames and are not distinguished, and they are tied by food and are not different. Even if a hundred generations, marriages cannot be allowed, this is the way of Zhou.
The host personally invites the guests to the door, and the guests follow him. As for the door, the host bows to the guests and the door, and the guests enter by themselves; the distinction between noble and humble is made. Three bows to the steps, three concessions to the guests, bowing to the door, offering, paying, and refusing are complicated. The door is simple. As for the guests ascending to receive, sitting to offer, standing to drink. No toasts and descending; the distinction between high and low is made.
Emperor Wen once ordered the King of Dong'e to compose a poem within seven steps. If he failed, he would be punished. He immediately composed a poem: "Cook the beans and make soup, strain the beans to make juice. The firewood is burning under the pot, and the beans are crying in the pot. We are from the same root, why are we so eager to harm each other?" The emperor looked deeply ashamed.
Duke Huan was sitting on a military officer's chair, which was filled with scallions, and the chair was not put down from time to time. The people eating with him did not help, but the chair was still held there, and everyone present laughed. Duke Huan said, "We don't even help each other when we are in the same boat, let alone when we are in danger?" He ordered him to be dismissed from office.
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
Ziyun: "The etiquette of the guest always advances to show respect, and the funeral etiquette always adds distance." Bathing in the middle stream, eating under the window, small burial inside the door, large burial on the east side, funeral in the guest seat, ancestral worship in the courtyard, burial in the tomb, so as to show distance. The Yin people mourned at the grave, and the Zhou people mourned at home, showing that the people were not rebellious. Ziyun: "Death is the final service of the people, I follow Zhou." Because of this, there are still princes who died without burial. Ziyun: "Ascending from the guest steps, receiving condolences at the guest seat, teaching the people to pursue filial piety." Not calling the king before the death shows that the people are not quarrelsome. Therefore, the "Spring and Autumn Annals" of Lu recorded the funeral of Jin and said: "Kill the son of the king Xiqi and his king Zhuo." Because of this, there are still sons who kill their fathers.
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