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When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
The You Yu clan used a tile coffin, the Xia Hou clan used a Zhou, the Yin people used a coffin, and the Zhou people placed a fan on the wall. The Zhou people used the Yin people's coffin to bury the eldest deceased, the Xia Hou clan's Zhou to bury the middle and youngest deceased, and the You Yu clan's tile coffin to bury the deceased without mourning.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
Someone asked, "Why do people bury their parents after three days of death?" The answer is: filial sons are sad and resentful when their parents die, so they crawl on the ground and cry, as if they will be resurrected, how can they be taken away and buried. Therefore, it is said that the funeral is held after three days, in order to wait for the body to be reborn. If the body is not reborn after three days, it is also dead. The filial son's heart will also be weakened; the family plan and clothing can also be completed; the distant relatives can also come. Therefore, the sages made a decision to set a three-day ritual system.
Only the most sincere person in the world can fulfill his nature; if he can fulfill his nature, he can fulfill the nature of man; if he can fulfill the nature of man, he can fulfill the nature of things; if he can fulfill the nature of things, he can praise the transformation and nurturing of heaven and earth; if he can praise the transformation and nurturing of heaven and earth, he can be compared with heaven and earth.
Zeng Zi asked: "How can the sacrifice not be performed?" Confucius said: "I heard that in a minor auspicious event, the host performs the sacrifice without offering sacrifices, and offers sacrifices to the guests, but the guests do not raise them. This is the etiquette. In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu performed sacrifices and offered sacrifices to the guests, which was not etiquette; Duke Xiao of Lu performed a major auspicious event, but did not offer sacrifices, which was also not etiquette. "
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