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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Duke Dao's mother died, and Duke Ai wore mourning clothes. Youruo said, "Is it proper to wear mourning clothes for a concubine?" The Duke said, "How can I do this? The people of Lu married me." Ji Zigao buried his wife and broke into other people's crops. He reported to the emperor, "Please give me a Geng." Zigao said, "Mengshi did not blame me for this, and my friends did not abandon me for this. They thought I was the head of the town. If I buy a way to bury the deceased, it will be difficult for the future to succeed me." For those who have not yet received official salary: if the king gives them gifts, they call them offerings, and if they send them to the king, they call them the widowed king; if they disobey the king and the king dies, they will not mourn for him. The corpse is set up with a few mats. When the crying is over, the taboo is used. When the living affairs are over, the ghost affairs begin to end. When the crying is over, the prime minister holds a wooden bell and orders the palace, "Abandon the old and avoid the new." From the bedroom door to the warehouse door. Two names are not tabooed. The mother of the master is named Zhengzai; if it is Zai, it is not Zheng, and if it is Zheng, it is not Zai. When the army is worried, they cry outside the warehouse door in plain clothes, and do not carry a bag when they go to the carriage. If the room of their ancestors is burned, they cry for three days. Therefore, it is said: "When a new palace is on fire, one should also cry for three days."
After Xie Zhonglang was defeated in Shouchun, he still asked for the jade stirrup before fleeing. When the Grand Tutor was in the army, he did not say anything about gain or loss. I still said, "Why should we bother with this now?"
Le Ling's daughter married General Wang Ying of Chengdu. The king's brother, the King of Changsha, held power in Luo, and they began to plot against each other. The King of Changsha is close to villains and stays away from gentlemen. Everyone in the court is afraid of danger. After Le magistrate had agreed to the emperor's wishes and had relatives in marriage, a group of petty people started to slander him in Changsha. Changsha once asked Le Ling, who looked calm and answered slowly, "Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?" From then on, he felt relieved and had no more doubts.
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
Kong Cheqi was traveling with Zhongcheng. They met Kuang Shu on the imperial road. He was accompanied by many guests, so Kong went over to talk with Cheqi. Zhong Cheng didn't look at it at first, and said directly: "Even if an eagle turns into a dove, other birds still hate its eyes." Shu was furious and wanted to kill him. The cavalryman got off the car, hugged Shu and said, "My cousin has gone mad, please forgive him for me!" Only then did he save the leader.
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