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Xu Xuandu said: "In Qin Fu, it is said that 'only those who are extremely refined can analyze the principles with him'. This is Liu Yin; and 'only those who are profound and calm can rest with him'. This is Jian Wen."
The father and son of Yin Taichang of Jiangzuo were both able to reason, but they also had differences in their eloquence and taciturnity. When Yangzhou talked a lot, Taichang would say, "You should think more about my argument."
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
When Pang Shiyuan arrived in Wu, the people of Wu all became friends with him. When he saw Lu Ji, Gu Shao and Quan Cong, he compared them and said, "What Lu Zi said about a slow horse is that it has the advantage of being fast. What Gu Zi said about a slow ox is that it can carry heavy loads and travel far." Someone asked, "If what you said is true, is Lu the better one?" He replied, "Although a slow horse is agile and swift, it can only catch up to one person. A slow ox can travel a hundred miles in a day, but how can it catch up to one person?" The people of Wu did not object. "Quan Zi likes to have a good reputation, just like Fan Zizhao of Runan."
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, 鈥淒id your ancestors mourn their mothers?鈥 He said, 鈥淵es鈥. 鈥淲hy did you not let Bai mourn?鈥 Zisi said, 鈥淢y ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai鈥檚 mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai鈥檚 mother.鈥 Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
When cleaning the feces for an elder, one must put a broom on the dustpan and use the sleeves to hold it back; if the dust does not reach the elder, one can use the dustpan from the home side to scoop it up. The seat is like a bridge. Where shall we sit and where shall we put our clothes? Xi: Among the south and north, the west is the best; among the east and west, the south is the best.
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