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Surrender

When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."

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What is the three-year mourning period? It is said that it is to be established according to the feelings, so as to decorate the group, distinguish the relatives and the relatives, and practice the rules, but it cannot be increased or decreased. Therefore, it is said that there is no way to change. The wound is big and the time is long, and the pain is severe and the recovery is slow. The three-year mourning period is established according to the feelings, so as to be the most painful. Cutting the mourning clothes and wearing a stick, living in a lean-to, eating porridge, sleeping on straw and pillows, is to decorate the most painful. The three-year mourning period ends in twenty-five months; the grief is not over, the longing is not forgotten, but the mourning is ended in this way. Isn’t it that there is a limit to sending off the dead and a limit to reviving the living? All living creatures between heaven and earth, with blood and breath, must have knowledge, and all sentient creatures know how to love their own kind. Now, if a large bird or beast loses its flock, after a month or more, it will return to its hometown, fly back and forth, cry, hesitate, and then leave. Even small birds, such as sparrows, still chirp for a while before leaving. Therefore, no one with blood and breath knows better than humans, so humans love their relatives until death. If you are with a person who is obsessed with adultery, he will forget about his death in the morning and follow him in the evening, which is no better than birds and beasts. How can they live together without chaos? If you are with a gentleman who is well-mannered, the three-year mourning period will be completed in twenty-five months, like a team of horses passing through a gap, but it will continue, which is endless. Therefore, the ancient kings set up the middle and set rules for them, so that they can form a culture and reason, and then they will let it go.

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The Book of Songs says: "When wearing brocade, one should still wear a plain cloth." This is because it is disliked that the pattern is conspicuous. Therefore, the way of a gentleman is to be obscure but brighter day by day; the way of a villain is to be clear but disappear day by day. The way of a gentleman is to be indifferent but not disgusting, to be simple but elegant, to be warm but reasonable, to know the nearness of the far, to know the direction of the wind, to know the obviousness of the subtle, and to be able to enter virtue. The Book of Songs says: "Although he is hidden, he is also as bright as Confucius!" Therefore, a gentleman is not guilty when he examines himself, and has no evil in his ambition. What a gentleman cannot reach is what people cannot see! The Book of Songs says: "Even if the prime minister is in your room, he is not ashamed of the leaking roof." Therefore, a gentleman is respectful without moving, and trustworthy without speaking. The Book of Songs says: "When he reports a favor, he does not speak, and there is no dispute at the time." Therefore, a gentleman does not reward, but the people are encouraged, and does not get angry, but the people are as powerful as a sword. The Book of Songs says: "Don't show your virtue! The hundred officials will punish you." Therefore, a gentleman is sincere and respectful, and the world is peaceful. The Book of Songs says: "I have a clear mind, and I do not make loud noises or use color." Confucius said: "Sounds and colors are the least important in transforming the people." The Book of Songs says: "Virtue is like a hair." Even a hair has its own rules. The heaven's carriage is soundless and odorless, it is the ultimate!

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The king does not name the concubines of the ministers, the great officials do not name the nephews and daughters of the ministers, and the scholars do not name the concubines of the family. The son of a lord or a minister dare not call himself "my son"; the son of a minister or a scholar dare not call himself "the heir so-and-so", nor dare to have the same name as the heir. If the lord asks a scholar to shoot and he fails, he should excuse himself on the grounds of illness, saying, "I am worried about carrying firewood." It is not polite to serve a gentleman without looking back.

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