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Zhi Daoling and Yin Yuanyuan were both in Xiangwang Xu. The King of Xiang said to the two men, "You can try to have a conversation with them. Your talents and natures are probably as solid as those of the two states of Yao and Han, so you better be careful!" Zhi started to act, but then he changed his tune and kept his distance. After a few conversations, he unknowingly entered into their mystery. The Prince of Xiang stroked his shoulder and said with a smile: "This is his victory. How can we argue with him?"
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
When the king marries his eldest son, he should have three carriages; when the duke marries his concubine, he should have one carriage; when the official marries his eldest son, he should have one carriage.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Taifu Xie said to Wang Youjun: "In middle age, I am hurt by sorrow and joy. When I say goodbye to my relatives and friends, I feel sick for several days." Wang said: "I am in my twilight years, so it is natural for me to be like this. I rely on music and calligraphy. I am always afraid that my children will notice it and ruin my joy."
When the king marries his eldest son, he should have three carriages; when the duke marries his concubine, he should have one carriage; when the official marries his eldest son, he should have one carriage.
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