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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zi SiWhen his mother died in Wei, Liu Ruo said to Zisi: "You are the descendant of a sage. People from all over the world come to you to observe the rites. You should be careful." Zisi said: "Why should I be careful? I heard that if there is the rite but not the money, a gentleman will not do it; if there is the rite and the money but not the time, a gentleman will not do it. Why should I be careful!"
When Emperor Cheng was in Shitou, Ren Rang killed the Palace Attendant Zhong Ya and the Right Guard General Liu Chao in front of the emperor. The emperor cried and said, "Give me back my ministers!" Rang disobeyed the order, so Chao and Ya were executed. After the matter was settled, Tao Gong had an old relationship with Rang and wanted to pardon him. Xu Liu'er's longing for her mother-in-law is the best, and you gentlemen want to help her. If he thought of his mother-in-law, he would have no choice but to give in to Tao Quan, so he wanted to pardon them both. When the matter was reported to the emperor, he said, "Rang was the one who killed my minister and he cannot be forgiven!" The officials believed that the young master should not be disobeyed, so they executed both men.
When Zhuge Jin was the governor of Yuzhou, he sent his personal driver to the platform and said, "The child is good at talking. You can talk to him." He went to see Ke, but Ke refused to meet him. Later, they met in Zhang Fu's and Wu's seat. The deputy driver called Ke: "You are so loud, young man." Ke mocked him and said: "Yuzhou is in chaos, why are you so loud?" He replied: "When the king is wise and the ministers are virtuous, I have never heard of chaos." Ke said: "In the past, Tang Yao was in the upper position, and the four villains were below." He replied: "Not only the four villains, there was also Danzhu." Then everyone in the room laughed.
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
There was a vacancy for the position of captain of infantry, and there were several hundred hu of wine stored in the kitchen, so Ruan Ji asked to be the captain of infantry.
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